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Tuesday, October 04, 2005


I am an drug addict.I am totally dependent on opiates,without their pain-killing qualities I can not function.This will not be a pretty point of prose,just a fact filled essay that I hope will be helpful to some,educating to others and the rest of you,just put up with me okay?This won't take long.
I suffer from Fibromyalgia,a syndrome characterized by chronic pain in the muscles and soft tissues surrounding joints, fatigue, and tenderness at specific sites in the body. Add to that fact a history of extreme abuse inflected on my body,through recklessness,traffic accidents and sports,and the odd shit kicking just to keep me on my toes.I have had over twenty full breaks,and even more fractures of bones,all the way from my little toe to my skull,which may explain a few things!
I am not using any of these things as reasons for my drug abuse,rather explaining how I was able to convince the doctors I needed their help.
I started with codeine,then on to morphine.I remained in control for the most part,actually selling half of my prescriptions rather then waste them on myself.I would use store bought painkillers at a dangerous level,just so I could sell my per.
Of course in time,weakened in will by alcohol and cocaine,I started injecting morphine,rapidly going from 60 mgs per day,to 1200 mgs per day.
Impossible the doctors out there say?I will only say,that my body as always been very adaptable,it seems to through off the effects of drugs,even alcohol,at a rate many times faster then the norm.In other words,a cheap date I ain't!
And then there is the problem with my asthma and euphaseima,a result no doubt of over thirty five years of smoking.
Morphine had another effect on me other then just painkilling and a feeling of well being,it also seemed to help when my breathing was laboured.Now,just for the hell of it,through in a dose of double pneumonia,and you have the scenario that lead to my "death"I was having difficulty breathing,my inhalers were not doing the trick,my bodt ached,so I cranked some mo(morphine).Then some more,and then I don't remember fuck all for a week,excuse the language,just writing what I was thinking.
This is not the place to go into the philosophical awakening this event brought about,I mention it only to point the way to my final decision to quit the drugs and crime,and attempt to become human again.
Opiates have an extreme affect on the body,it is addictive physically as well as emotionally.Once your body becomes adapted to it,you must have it or face extreme illness and mental anxiety as your brain produces an array of chemicals in an attempt to compensate for the lose.
Cold turkey withdrawal is one way of overcoming your addiction,and sounds easy,but if you also are in rewal need of painkillers,Methadone becomes the only answer.
Methadone is a rigorously well-tested medication that is safe and efficacious for the treatment of narcotic withdrawal and dependence. For more than 30 years this synthetic narcotic has been used to treat opiate addiction. Heroin and morphine releases an excess of dopamine in the body and causes users to need an opiate continuously occupying the opioid receptor in the brain. Methadone occupies this receptor and is the stabilizing factor that permits addicts on methadone to change their behavior and to discontinue illegal drug use.
There is not to much that can ever be said was a good result from a war,and even less can be said that the German Army did for the betterment of mankind during the Second World War.
German researchers where given an almost impossible task by their Nazi overlords,come up with a painkiller so wounded men could return to the field sooner,but make said painkiller non euphoric,the mental and emotional levels of the patient could not be tampered with.
Tampering with Morphine and it's derivative heroin,they where able to synthesize a new chemical combination,and Methadone was born.
Used almost exclusively in hospitals as a painkiller for the terminal ill,it was not until the wide spread use heroin use in the sixties that it's use as a substitute for street drugs was discovered and it was first used as a long term treatment.
Despite it's great success,there remains a stigma in the public perception of it's use,but despite this,its use continues to grow,with many areas having a long waiting list for those seeking treatment.
In my own case,it took me almost two months from the first tenative phone call to the actual first drink,as that is the way it is taken,orally as a drink,here in this part of Canada,it is usually mixed with a fruit juice,mainly orange.
I owe my life to Methadone,of that I am positive.I can give the credit for me being clean to my promise to my daughter,I can say my newly discovered Faith in the Lord gave me the strength I needed,but I must confess to the truth,without Methadone I would not have made it.Simple.End of story.

Which brings me to the whole point behind this post,my announcement to you of the on line support group I founded a few months back.
Please do not be fooled by the name,this support group is open to all that have issues with addiction,whether it be food,drink,drugs,gambling or what have you,if you or a loved one as a past and or present problem with an addiction,this group is for you.
So,I hereby give you an official invitation to visit and or join the Yahoo group
SAVEDBYMETHADONE and please,if you are thinking of joining so you have another group to broadcast your marketing plan to,FORGET IT! I created this group as a serious forum to discuss our addiction issues,and I have a 0% tolerance for unrelated messages.
Group members in good standing who have a business or marketing affiliation they wish the other members to know about,are allowed to post a link to what ever they want us to see.but we do not want to see it in our messages.
Any one not following these guidelines will be immediately banned from the group.

That concludes my post,I told you it would not be pretty prose,but if any of you have any questions,please leave a comment and or email me and I will be glad to reply ASAP. hdforbes@yahoo. HUGS ARE BETTER THEN DRUGS!


At 8:29 AM, Blogger Meg said...

A much needed, easy to read explanation of the use of methadone, from a person who is taking it. Thanks again Doug, you always give much to the world by living through all that you describe to us.
Keep up the good work.

At 9:36 PM, Anonymous Bill said...

Just wanted to tell you I am now in recovery as well,on my third week of Methadone,it still "puts me on the nod"but it is saving my life!Thank you again,I know I thanked you in the support group(join all YOU addcits!)but wanted your readers to know,you SAVED MY LIFE!


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